For February 16th, 2003
Seiva
If only laws were a little different. If only they could allow that true love is unrestricted by western culture's narrow-minded perceptions of sex, age, ethnicity, or even species. If only Seiva could marry her notoriously sexy feline companion (such an insinuating term that, in this case, rings absolutely true), she'd be at the altar right now, promising for better or for worse and all that rigamarole to Smish. Forever and ever. We here at the hotpunkgirl.com world headquarters think that's pretty damned punk.
Seiva agrees, but she gives us the finger, all the same. Also, pretty damned punk.
Since Seiva can't marry her cat, she maintains a life of sin that would make even the most liberal of hedonists blush a shade of crimson only seen in places like Malaysian red light districts and the Earth's molten core. She's got a penchant for ugly tattoos and emaciated punk rock boys that she can boss around and beat up with minimal effort -- even though she sleeps at least seventeen hours per night (if possible), she likes to conserve energy for more important things. Like revolution, sewing, and stalking Viva Nova.
"I very homosexually love her. And her boobs," she tells us. "Other internet-connected fuckmaws, however, can stand in line and wait their turn for hefty doses of abuse. Unless I don't want to. Alternately, they can buy me birthday presents because it's on February 21st and I deserve it. Love me."
"But how can I help?" asks one gentle reader. "I don't know what she wants for her birthday and I don't want to risk getting my ass kicked for pissing her off."
Here's where we can help! Seiva likes shoes and gift certificates from you that allow her to buy them. Seiva can be emailed at seiva_sadism@yahoo.com. By the time you write, she'll most likely have some other suggestions for gifts you can get for her. Don't be a cheapskate, punk! Seiva's birthday only comes once a year, but your ability to give her what she wants is timeless!
Not only is Seiva celebrating another year on Earth, she's celebrating a recovery from recent dental surgery. If the former's not good reason enough to buy her something nice, then the latter reason ought to be, you heartless bastard!
She really will be grateful. You'll just have to trust us. Drop on by her Yahoo! group or email her to say hello and ask how you can help!
Now, if not sooner. You still don't want to risk pissing her off.
 |
 |
 |