For February 23rd, 2004
Joanna
We're as thrilled as a field trip of hyperactive kindergartners at a cotton candy factory that Burning Angel debutante Joanna honors us as Hotpunkgirl of the Week!
She was once
the hairnet-wearing lunch lady at her college dining hall, but look at her now!
Realizing that a life spent spitting fingernails in wannabe sorority girls'
split-pea soup wasn't worth the entailing years of bitterness, Joanna started
Burning Angel and
she can sometimes be spotted dancing...exotically. But only part time. When
she's not hanging upside down from metal poles, she's engaged in other youthful
endeavors such as interviewing
bands, writing
dirty stories, and talking to Burning
Angel co-owner Mitch
on the Instant Messenger when he is sitting at the computer right next to hers.
In case you were wondering, you'll never get far with a swanky dame like Joanna by offering to buy her a Budweiser.
"I'm one of them high class bitches," says Joanna. "I drink from the top shelf. Ketel One and tonic. Get a clue: your piss beer rots the insides of most people with class, prole swine."
She burps and wipes her mouth with her sleeve and kicks an empty bottle of Cisco across the kitchen floor into a garbage can that's shaped like Fred Durst's head.
"That's Mitch's bum wine. He tells me I drive him to drink."
Joanna shrugs and nibbles on a handful of macadamia nuts. Waiting For Guffman, Josie and the Pussycats, and the first Halloween movie play simultaneously on multiple television sets that lay stacked on top of each other in the corner. A stereo blares Fischerspooner's version of Wire's "The 15th," and the merged cacophony of sight and sound lends a surreal quality to the interview at hand. A flick of the wrist and a previously unseen television set underneath the coffee table glows to life. It's a first season episode of Three's Company, and Joanna curls her upper lip in utter disgust as Norman Fell's perma-scowl invades the screen.
"Roper's an old, puckered-up sourpuss! Want real fun? FURLEY. Don Knotts in a flashy ascot can be my landlord any day! But only if he evicts Larry Dallas, first. That guy epitomizes sleaze. Maybe even more so than the singer from Elefant." Joanna pauses in consideration and continues, "Nah, maybe not that much."
If you haven't clicked on the previous links so blatantly beckoning your attention, check out Burning Angel. It's got punk rock reviews, it's got interviews with bands you love and bands you hate, it's got dirty horoscopes, it's got articles on a variety of topics, and, oh! It's got pictures of beautiful naked ladies! The pride that Joanna and co-owners Mitch and Chummy have in their site is obvious in the way they thumb their noses at the woefully taboo subject of sex.
If you hate Burning Angel, you probably hate fun. Or maybe you just need some kind of...release. Live a little! Naked people mean you no harm, baby.
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