For March 2nd, 2003
Stephy Pesticide
Stephy Pesticide was born, much to the surprise of all present, with a perfectly-formed devil lock cascading down the middle of her wee, precious baby face. Soon thereafter, she was abducted by a family of (non-angry) Samoans and forced to dine on scrumptious, south Pacific delicacies before she was rescued by a Snow White impersonator and raised in Disneyland for the first fifteen years of her life.
"There was a whole feral tribe of us Disney brats," explains Stephy, "we'd alternate between hiding out in the basketball court inside of The Matterhorn, in hammocks among the comet-crossed rafters of Space Mountain, the bayou shack-boats in The Pirates of the Caribbean, and in niches along the tunnel of Splash Mountain, which is where I was discovered and ejected by park security."
How'd she manage to get caught, we wonder?
"Oh, I was trying to sleep off my mint julep-and-gin hangover and some loudmouthed Valley broad was showing off her new, fake tits to the cameras on the drop down," says Stephy, "this was, like, the fifth time that day. She was really getting on my nerves, so I threw a fork I'd poached from Club 33 and popped her new boob! The waterfall ran red with carnage and silicone all afternoon. Hah, hah!"
Since her unceremonious (and bloody!) departure from The Happiest Place On Earth, Stephy has traveled the world, her expenses furnished by various talents ranging from accompanying subway crooners with the accordion to making flyers for punk bands to selling loot discovered in drunken midnight forays into long-forgotten, abandoned places.
Stephy loves to do the top-shelf shimmy to all sorts of music, like: The Cramps, Gravy Train!!!!, The Misfits, DEVO, Siouxsie, The Plasmatics, Nekromantix, Demented Are Go, Tigerlillies, The Dwarves, Oingo Boingo, Penis Flytrap, 45 Grave, Tom Waits, Nick Cave, GWAR, Midnightmare, W.I.T., The Dead Boys, Luxe, The Dead Kennedys, Mykee Hates Life, Fracas, The Phenomenauts, Pitch Black, and lots of other stuff she can't remember right now.
If you want to check out this hot, zombie-fucking punk girl (and why wouldn't you want to, punk?), visit her website, Yahoo! group, or Livejournal and go from there.
Or email her at sexwithzombies@hotmail.com.
Why are you still here? G'wan, get on out! Stephy likes to fight, and you're next on her list (if you don't obey).
 |
 |
 |