For April 7th, 2003
Vanessa Heart
We are pleased to present Varla columnist, Rock N Roll Purgatory cover girl, and guitar-surfing superheroine (maybe we should call her "The Flying V") Vanessa Heart as our Hotpunkgirl of the Week!
"I put the ROCK in the Rocky Mountains!" she says, flipping us a devil-horned salute from the lofty perch of her Colorado treehouse. "Sometimes, that ROCK is swathed in hot pink! Got a problem with that?"
We assure her that we do not!
When she's not hanging outside the punk rock show with the bad kids, popping bike tires, depantsing Gap models, and throwing empty tequila bottles at SUVs, Vanessa is a smarty-pants college girl double-majoring in English and Automotive Repair.
"I don't plan on spending my post-college years unemployed!" Vanessa says, her chin up, "If I can't get a job fixing sentences, I'll get a job fixing cars. But I won't fix your cat -- that's not my calling!" [Editor's note: Vanessa is actually majoring in multimedia, but she still won't fix your cat. Please don't ask!]
Vanessa once spent a whole summer on a stolen yacht with a nomadic troupe of Swiss rockabilly troubadours in pursuit of confirming various worldwide Elvis-sightings.
"The Snagglepuss Whiplashers were like a group of really sweet big brothers to me," Vanessa recalls of her water-trodding, King-chasing days, "It's just too bad that I was underaged at the time and the Turkish Port Authority had a real problem with five pompadoured and be-sideburned young gents escorting an even younger me around the world without adult supervision. They assumed that I was being taken advantage of and shipped the whole lot of 'em to prison and me back to my parents, who were furious at me for leaving with all their credit cards but happy to have me back home. Last I heard, the boys in The Snagglepuss Whiplashers made a daring escape from Turkish prison and continued their tour only a year or two late. If any of you happen to read this, please send me a postcard from wherever you are! I miss you!"
Aww, see? Vanessa does have a heart!
Likewise, so should you. Go see her site and drop her an email telling her how lucky you are to have seen pictures of her and that you appreciate her being Hotpunkgirl of the Week! She just might write you back and let you know when her new line of Vanessa Heart lunchboxes is coming out!
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