For October 6th, 2003

Mouse

"The future looks up!" said the one-eyed gypsy, and Mouse wondered if it was a north sort of up or a south sort of up? She wasn't counting out the possibility of a western up or even an eastern up, either, but the former two seemed the most likely. She chose to begin north and work her way elsewhere with the aid of a compass if absolutely necessary.

The high prairie held promise for prospectors during the summer of '49, but Mouse would have nothing of promises without at least half up front. This rare photo was recently discovered tacked to the wall of the post office of an old ghost town near present-day Moab, Utah.

"Umm, you've got a speck of something right there," said Mouse to the portly sandwich diner, pointing out the scene of the food debris crime, "I think it's half of a pickle slice. Can you not feel it, man? It's freakin' huge! No. Top lip. TOP lip. There. Got it!"

You'll vote for Mouse, and you'll do it now, punk! (Click here and vote for Mouse. That way, no one has to die.)

Mouse is a savvy DJ who knows how to make you shake your rump and how to make you weep bitter tears over matters of unrequieted love into your beer. Mouse dances with the Dog & Pony Show burlesque troupe. Mouse throws underpants at Tom Jones when he's performing sold-out shows in Vegas, but they're never her underpants. Mouse doesn't cook for people who put their elbows on the table. She was born in a covered wagon caravan in Arizona en route to the promised lands back east when her parents discovered that most folks in California are prone to stab people in their sleep for a hot shower and a cup of soup. So now she resides, with her beautiful, blushing groom and their two stunt cats Nico & Gigi in scenic Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

"I've got a younger sister, but she's been a steelworker in the Glasgow shipyards for the past seven or eight years," says Mouse with a sigh, "it's a dirty job, and she's especially filthy, so I don't really talk to her very often."

"Oh! And if you tell anyone I said so, I'll break your fucking arms, Tralfaz!" She adds with a smile.

(ed. note: Captain Tralfaz is able to type with his feet, so ha, ha!)

When she's not engaging in one of the aforementioned pastimes or breaking the bones of the infidels, Mouse models for a variety of photographers and artists, among them Bryan Regan, Elvira Sanchez Kisser, M.G. Wood, Kate Mitchard, c. David Cabrera, and Alan Stewart. She's listed among the ranks at Wicked Talent, so if you're looking for a model or actress that doesn't have to get naked for your sick amusement, pervert, then Mouse might be the woman you're looking for!

"I accept U.S. dollars and acres of land in return for my services," Mouse says, "but the next sorry bastard that tries to pay me in metrically-measured quantities of potbellied pigs is going to get a boot to the throat, and I mean it! Damned Tahitians!"

Enamored of pinup aesthetics and gothic sensibilities, Mouse loves music by Siouxsie & The Banshees; books by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett; movies where Bruce Campbell beats the crap out of howling swarms of Deadites; and art by Franz von Stuck. If you want to keep up with this fascinating young lady and ensure that no danger comes to your physical well-being, go check out her website. But that's not all! Mouse has a Yahoo! group she's absolutely sure you'll want to join. Go on, do it. It's easy, free, and she won't have to crush your kneecaps into fine chalk dust for non-compliance with her express wishes.

Looking for more hot, punk girls? Click here!


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