For October 27th, 2002 (HAPPY HALLOWEEN!)
Mutali
Early, rugged explorers of the wintery Canadian wilderness were often heard to exclaim things like, "Sacre bleu! My balls, zey are blue and freezing right off, no?" While due in no small part to being secluded from now taken-for-granted amenities like, say, houses, we believe these pioneers suffered mainly from lack of comfort and companionship to be found in the ever-lovin' arms of hot, punk girls like Mutali!
Emulating fierce female comic book heroes, Mutali will sometimes be seen on Toronto's meanest streets giving the what-for to would-be bullies and miscreants.
"But it's mostly the litterbugs that incur my wrath," Mutali says cooly, "there's a place for trash, and I won't stand for the bespoiling of my beloved city by thoughtless vulgarians!"
With a coy fluttering of her eyelashes, Mutali avoids the quite innocent question of when she last had to beat the crap out of some uncooperative hooligan. Instead, she leans close and whispers, "but you want to know what really turns me on?"
In wide-eyed suspense, we nodded! We nodded!
Then, with nary a warning, Mutali's eyes went horror movie bright red and her head spun around like a civil-sponsored special event Gravitron! Hellish growlings echoed in the pit of her belly, and she snarled in a voice not-quite-human, "LUOS RUOY WOLLAWS LL'I!"
"Er...pardon?" we asked, confused and distracted by this unexpected turn of events.
"OH. SORRY. I WAS BACKWARDS-MASKING, AGAIN. MY BAD." she cleared her throat and resumed, "I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!"
It was then that we noticed the bookmarked Necronomicon poking out of her bomber pocket, and the situation was made crystal clear. She'd been dabbling in the summoning of elder gods and demons and had somehow managed to get herself possessed. Fuck.
Like the surviving protaganists in any H.P. Lovecraft story, we ran.
But you don't have to! We've heard back from Mutali since the interview, and she assures us she's feeling much better now after evicting the invading dark forces with a roll of TUMs and plenty of bedrest. Oh! And the talisman of banishing she'd picked up at a garage sale in case of such an emergency. Demonic possession aside, though: Mutali's a sweetheart, and you should drop her an email and say hello or visit her site.
Oh! And one more thing. Mutali's also currently being featured at punkrockchicks.com in a few pictures that are just a bit more risque than the ones you'll find here. Curious? We thought you might be. Enjoy!
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